Mia's Bad Morning
by Naseka
Summary: Mia has a bad start to the morning when she decides to visit Grandmere too early... Based on book.


I finally started reading the books yesterday. I will have finished them all within 4 days or so (provided I can find book 4 and 6. I read book 1 yesterday,book 2 today and started book 3 today, but will finish it tomorrow. I think the books are actually better than the novel (unusual for me). Clarisse's character in the novel is so much more like-able (according to me). I reckon it's hilarious how Mia goes on about her tattooed eyeliner and drawn on eyebrows. I just wrote this for fun as a dedication to the books, so…

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**Saturday, May 27 **

I have been traumatised for life! I can't imagine a worse day

The thing is, Lilly and I had plans to see a movie today at midday, but Grandmere had told me to come to her hotel room at 10am for a princess lesson. So I decided to go a little earlier at 9am so I could get it out of the way and have plenty of time to talk with Lilly and have lunch and stuff before the movie started.

So anyway, I was outside Grandmere's suite, right? And I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I twisted the knob and to my surprise, it was open. I looked around, but didn't see Grandmere anywhere, only Rommel who was growling as usual. I started calling out to her and heard somebody say an obsene word. She was in her bedroom.

'Grandmere? Are you in there?'

I walked over to her room and opened the door. To my horror, I saw her and some Italian-looking guy (who, by the way, looked like he was at least half her age) sitting on the bed, frantically trying to tie up their bathrobes!

I got the shock of my life! It was so gross! I couldn't believe that Grandmere was still doing…that! Or that someone could actually be interested in doing…that…with her. I know if I were a guy – which would most likely never happen – I would never fall for a woman like Grandmere and I especially wouldn't (EWW!) sleep with her. I know I've mentioned this before, but the thought of waking up to that face…those drawn-on eyebrows and her tattooed eyeliner would totally freak me out. I mean, I'd probably have a heart-attack, like Grandpere did when he saw he one morning (or so I assume).

So anyway, what did I do when I saw them? I screamed and turned around, of course! I had just seen my Grandmother partially naked. EWW!

And do you know what the most disturbing part was? She denied that anything was going on! I mean, come on. I saw them! Well, maybe I didn't actually see them, but I saw them afterwards.

And do you know what she said? I'll tell you what she said!

She said, 'Amelia, you're here early.'

She then turned to the man and said, 'She's usually the Queen of tardiness.'

Then I said, 'What's going on? Or would I prefer not to know?'

Obviously, she saw how upset I was and wanted to reassure me, 'Nothing. Bernard and I are just old friends. His car broke down and he needed somewhere to spend the night.'

So then I said to Grandmere, 'Why did he stay in your room then? There's only what, like five hundred other rooms he could have stayed in?'

Then she said, 'He's very choosy.'

'Yes,' he agreed.

Grandmere whispered to him, 'I think it might be best if you left us alone. And perhaps you should put on some clothes before you frighten the poor girl even more so.'

It wasn't so much him that frightened me as it was her, but I didn't say anything.

He went back into the room to dress. I wished Grandmere had done the same, or would them being in there dressing together have been worse? I gave her a disapproving look.

The man came back out after a minute and Grandmere said to me, 'Now Mia, I don't want you to think this is a regular habit of mine, because it isn't. It was a one time thing, you have to believe me.'

She then pushed the man out the door and he said, 'Same time tomorrow?

I raised one of my REAL eyebrows – unlike hers, which are fake - and she closed the door. What a liar!

'Amelia, listen to me. When two people like each other very much, or just like each other in general, they sometimes feel the need to express themselves in the art of…'

I stopped listening right there. It was bad enough when my mom had tried to give me a sex-talk, but if I listened to one from Grandmere…well, that would be gross, or should I say grosser?

I walked to the window covering my ears and yelling, 'Lalalalalala, I don't want to hear any more…'

I'm pretty sure she continued talking, so I said, 'Okay, I get the point, can you please stop?'

My eyes suddenly fell on the street below. It was the Italian man driving off in a red sports car.

To avoid a deeper conversation, I asked if we could begin the lesson and she said, 'Just give me a moment to get dressed.'

I would have given her two moments to get dressed. Anything as long as she put some clothes on, for god's sake.

I have the biggest feeling that someday, I'll be repeating this incident to a psychiatrist …but for now, I'd rather put it in the back of my memory and hope it finds some way to erase itself. Perhaps it would help if I erased this page of my diary…hmm…

Oh! And for the record, that red sports car was not broken.

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